The Currency of Compliance

How Obedience Rewards Women Who Sell Out Other Women

I can’t stand the idea that women are just kind, empathetic little creatures who simply want to be liked and to fit in. That’s the myth we’ve all been sold — and too many of us are still buying. But let’s be honest: that performance of sweetness, of inclusion, of emotional intelligence? It’s a con. A very thin layer of social varnish covering up something much more calculating. It’s not real. It’s a game. It’s currency.

Because being 'nice' is how some women climb the ladder. It’s how they gain approval, gain power, gain control. The whole thing is a pantomime. They aren’t being kind — they’re performing it. What looks like empathy is often just social capital. What looks like inclusion is often just obedience with a smile. It’s not about justice. It’s about acceptance — and maintaining their position in the social pecking order.

Let’s talk about female compliance. Not the kind we rail against in history books — not corsets and cooking lessons. I mean the modern kind. The Instagram kind. The performative kind. The kind that rewards women not for being bold, but for being obedient. For toeing the line, parroting the script, and wagging their fingers at the rest of us.

Let’s call it what it is: some women benefit from selling out the rest of us. They’ve hitched their careers to the cult of woke. Or bent the knee to rigid, misogynistic religion. Because compliance pays. It buys you invitations, jobs, book deals, fellowships, applause. But only if you learn to shut up about women. About girls. About safeguarding. About truth.

Whether it’s a hijab or a hashtag, the reward is the same: you’re seen as a "good woman." A clean woman. A woman who causes no trouble.

These women become enforcers of their own oppression. In Iran, they’re literal morality police — women dragging other women off the streets for showing too much hair. In the UK, it’s the curtain twitchers, the smug HR whisperers, the LinkedIn tattletales who report you to your employer for daring to say that men aren’t women. Different uniforms. Same role.

As Jo Freeman put it in her blistering exposé of internal sabotage, Trashing: The Dark Side of Sisterhood, "Trashing is not disagreement; it is a particularly vicious form of character assassination... done by women to other women." And it’s always the same women doing it: the obedient ones. The ones who benefit from the existing structure by attacking anyone who threatens it.

Freeman writes, “Trashing has nothing to do with disagreement; it has to do with personal rivalry and power dynamics, with putting other women in their place.” Sound familiar? That’s exactly what happens when you dare to question woke orthodoxy or religious misogyny — you’re not debated, you’re destroyed.

And perhaps the most haunting line: "One is expected to suffer silently or be accused of lacking sisterhood." That’s how they keep women in line. That’s how they weaponise the very idea of sisterhood to punish anyone who dares to speak.

They slap down other women for noticing that a man in a dress is still a man. They scream racism when someone dares to question the cultural norms that lead to girls being forced into veils in summer heat. They parrot the line that says we should prioritise not being offensive over telling the truth.

And they’re rewarded for it. Platformed. Praised. Promoted. Because this system — whether it’s progressive academia or regressive religion — thrives when women police one another. The “patriarchy” doesn't need to lift a finger when it has a gaggle of handmaidens ready to do the job.

You can’t question misogynistic practices in Islam, because that would be racist. You can’t question gender ideology, because that would be transphobic. You can’t question why three-year-old girls are in hijabs, or why rape victims are sharing prison cells with men — because you’ll lose your job, your friends, your place in the nice middle-class club.

But don’t worry — there will always be a spot for you if you keep your mouth shut and your head down. There will always be a panel, a podcast, or a publishing deal waiting, so long as you never say the unsayable.

That’s the real deal these women make. They trade the safety and dignity of the many for the favour and comfort of the few. And they do it with smug smiles and social media claps and the word "inclusive" glued to every hollow gesture.

And here’s the twist: they envy us. The women who don’t comply. The ones who won’t sit down or shut up. That’s why they’re so eager to witch-hunt and destroy. Because deep down, they know we are doing what they dare not. Speaking the truth. Saying what they know but won’t admit. And that eats them alive.

A woman who dares to step out of line, who speaks for herself, who refuses to kneel — she is a mirror. And these women can’t bear what they see. She reminds them of what they lack: courage. She exposes their cowardice just by existing. No wonder they want her silenced. No wonder they want her gone. Saying what they know but won’t admit. And that eats them alive.

So they lash out. They scream “bigot.” They try to get you fired. They cry for deplatforming. Because it’s easier to burn the witch than to face the fire in your own gut — the one that knows you’re a coward.

But here’s the truth: obedience isn’t kindness. Silence isn’t compassion. And complicity is not a virtue.

The world doesn’t need more good girls. It needs women who say no. Women who name the harm. Women who refuse to play nice when girls are being hurt.

So if you're one of the good girls being rewarded for your compliance, know this: your comfort is built on someone else's silence. Someone else's bruises. Someone else's gag.